fuck gas

fuck $3.30 a gallon. fuck oil. fuck 'regime change'. fuck rush hour. fuck traffic. fuck reckless drivers. fuck slow drivers. fuck people who won't let you over. fuck people who try to cut in. fuck parking meters. fuck parking garages. fuck parking tickets. fuck parking period. fuck moving violations. fuck smog. fuck auto 'insurance'. fuck the dmv. fuck geographic segregation. fuck dead batteries. fuck shitty radio stations. fuck 'wash me'. fuck hot steering wheels. fuck windshield wipers that don't work. fuck one-way streets. fuck no left turn. have a nice day!

Tofu-Fest Schmofu Fest

The real action was motherfucking BEATLELVIS!!! (and assorted groupies).

inquiring minds want to know

wow there is like a public outcry over the death of my blog (ok four people have asked). why stop?

a) because i am not a political pundit, a snazzy aspiring writer or a young co-ed with a webcam.
b) because i do not have a life-threatening illness, a pornstar wife or celebrity friends to gossip about.
c) because if i weren't me i would read this crap and go, "what an uninteresting cornball."
d) because i AM me and i still think that.

honestly. go read a book or something. you'll be much better off.

i just realized

how corny this blog is.

why have i never been informed of this fact?

just look and listen.

that is all you need to know.

i will shut up now.