so i woke up to one of the worst hangovers i've had in ages, only to find this little present from irv on my front step:


thanks alot there, little buddy. that was just what i needed.

amen, brother.

fuck gas

fuck $3.30 a gallon. fuck oil. fuck 'regime change'. fuck rush hour. fuck traffic. fuck reckless drivers. fuck slow drivers. fuck people who won't let you over. fuck people who try to cut in. fuck parking meters. fuck parking garages. fuck parking tickets. fuck parking period. fuck moving violations. fuck smog. fuck auto 'insurance'. fuck the dmv. fuck geographic segregation. fuck dead batteries. fuck shitty radio stations. fuck 'wash me'. fuck hot steering wheels. fuck windshield wipers that don't work. fuck one-way streets. fuck no left turn. have a nice day!

Tofu-Fest Schmofu Fest

The real action was motherfucking BEATLELVIS!!! (and assorted groupies).

inquiring minds want to know

wow there is like a public outcry over the death of my blog (ok four people have asked). why stop?

a) because i am not a political pundit, a snazzy aspiring writer or a young co-ed with a webcam.
b) because i do not have a life-threatening illness, a pornstar wife or celebrity friends to gossip about.
c) because if i weren't me i would read this crap and go, "what an uninteresting cornball."
d) because i AM me and i still think that.

honestly. go read a book or something. you'll be much better off.

i just realized

how corny this blog is.

why have i never been informed of this fact?

just look and listen.

that is all you need to know.

i will shut up now.

55 Miles of Hell

Echo Park -> Marina del Rey -> Rancho Palos Verdes -> Long Beach

1) Ambitious Ben tells me I need to set goals and stick to them.
2) Ambitious Ben bonks out in San Pedro and wants to take the bus back.
3) Studman Harry says no way, we're riding 'til the bitter end.
4) Ambitious Ben and Studman Harry huff and puff their way to Long Beach, wondering how in the hell they're ever going to be able to do 100 miles.

World Cup Fever

poketo and i watched korea vs. france at a fashion show while handing out t-shirts to skinny fashionistas.  when korea scored, we screamed out loud and the hipsters (who wouldn’t know what a soccerball was if it fell on their lopsided haircuts) looked at us like we were bugging out.  everyone except for this mexican couple who ran over to our table yelling “viva korea!”  this is what i love about world cup, which in my experience seems to unite people from different backgrounds more than it divides them.  then again, we were playing france, and everybody hates the french. 'cept maybe people with lopsided haircuts.